I wasbeing seductive on the stage. I swung around the pole, looked at theaudience and smiled and raised my dress sometimes. I just wanted the wholething to be done. If this was my future, then I didn't want it.After the show we were in our room again. We changed back to ournightdress. Gianno came in to see if we were there. He was very drunk. Hesaid goodnight and left,Thomas and I looked at each other. He did not lock the door. This would bea chance. We decided to wait for a few hours so the moon was very high.The mafia men would be by then asleep. It was so hard waiting and waiting.We were shaking, not because it was cold, but because we were afraid.The time came when it was to try to escape. We tiptoed out of the bedroom.We peaked into the sitting room. The Mafia men were snoring. Then wewalked to the backdoor in the kitchen. My hands touched the doorknob. Welooked at each other. The door opened and we ran. A minute after the dooropened, an alarm went off.We ran past Laura's house.. I was doing all the heavy lifting in this conversation. The Jill I’d known before, always so honest and objective, was AWOL somewhere. Physically she was there, but mentally she was AWOL, maybe in bed with one of the other men in her life or smiling into a camera lens for her boss/director/pimp.“Jill, you’re not listening to me. Wake up and smell the roses! Our marriage is on life support, and unless we do something about it, it’ll be too late.”And then I said what I now knew to be true. I’d not planned it or thought it when I’d walked back into our home earlier that day. But the realization had been growing in my mind with every passing minute of my conversation with Jill. Every new avoidance and half-truth she offered just reinforcing my growing conviction that she and I faced a fundamental choice; one we couldn’t duck or compromise on.With a growing sadness, I almost cried inside as I prepared myself to say what I knew needed to be said. I’d desperately hoped that Jill and I could.
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